Khedi the Riveter!! That has a nice ring to it..

Gender roles in Senegalese society are quite clear cut. Naturally, men can pretty much do whatever they can afford. Women, on the other hand, are meant to get married, have lots of babies, cook, clean, make sure their sons do their school work and make sure their daughters learn how to cook and clean (so they can one day find husbands, have lots of babies of their own, and teach their daughters cooking, cleaning, and other house work). I know this isn’t a concept unique to Senegalese culture, but it doesn’t make it any less difficult to accept, or become accustomed to. Not to say that cooking, cleaning, and housework aren’t important and shouldn’t be learned; I just have difficulty accepting the idea that these tasks are inherently the responsibility of women, based solely upon their gender. But tell that to your average Senegalese man and he will think you’ve lost your mind (I’ve had more than one foot-in-mouth experience regarding the subject of gender roles). Let’s just say, I am working on my cultural sensitivity…
A couple of nights ago, I was hanging out with my aunt, a 25yr. old Senegalese, and her boyfriend. Eventually, our conversation came to why I am unmarried (which ALWAYS comes up) and why I can’t cook (I’m embarrassed to say this is true!!). My aunt’s boyfriend couldn’t understand how I ever expected to find a husband if I couldn’t cook, and he laughed in my face when I said that I plan for my husband and I to share the cooking/cleaning responsibilities. I think I even embarrassed my aunt a little bit, because I asked him if he knew how to cook (which he doesn’t, duh, he’s a man, what was I thinking). The idea that I went to college and now want to pursue work outside the house was incomprehensible for him, and later for his friends who showed up and continued to laugh at me for being single/unable to cook. They said that maybe that works in the U.S. or Europe but a woman living like that in Africa just wouldn’t fly; Women are meant to cook and clean, and men are meant to make money.
I’ve accepted that I won’t change their minds but I also won’t back down. Even though I knew they wouldn’t see how I’m living and realize it isn’t half bad and maybe it would work for them, I intend to continue sharing information about the different lifestyles here in Senegal, and back home; In the name of cross cultural experience of course!!
The next day I sat down with my aunt and my mom to see discuss the issue, sans men, and see how they really felt. Disappointingly, but not shockingly, they agreed with the men that a woman’s place was in the house. They found my insistence on the importance of education for girls to be laughable. School, especially university, was good but entirely too expensive for someone who will work in the house afterwards. They agreed that if a woman was going to go to university it should be up to her husband. Oh well. I’m not giving up!
My favorite part of the whole experience with my aunt, her boyfriend, and his friends was when, after his friend laughed at me for thinking women should be given an opportunity to work outside the house also, the friend asked me for my phone number and said he wanted to be my boyfriend. “Man, I’d love to give you my number but I only date guys that can cook and clean. Sorry though, I really am.” He sure made that one easy!

UPDATE: I made dinner for myself for the first time and it was great!! Tomato sauce from scratch! Delicious! And I also made cookies for my sister’s 18th birthday which also proved to be a hit. I guess now I can tell people, I’m pretty sure I CAN cook but I don’t necessarily want to. I’m sure they will love that one also.